Monday, November 22, 2010

Walking Dead Episode 4: "Vatos"

My Christmas wishes are coming true!!! Thank-you Santa. First off-the cuff observations:
•What's the deal with the "deer in the headlights" freeze up among these survivors. You'd think they'd be so on-edge and traumatized as to have almost cat-like reflexes by now right? I mean a Zombie grabs your arm and he's going to do just one thing with it. So maybe don't just stand there in shock watching. This is also why people who make sketchy hobo-camps should check the Backpacker Magazine Gear Guide for tents with 2 doorways. I know, I know, I'm not actually complaining. After all, the wife beating idiot was number one on my "here's hoping you get eaten" wish list and I did give it a resounding "YES!" complete with fist pump when he got his neck munched on, but since I'm here to Monday Morning Quaterback this whole thing I have to say he sat there frozen for a loooong moment where he could have been headed out the back door. There's really no escaping from a tent though is there? I mean even if you have a back door, you gotta find the zipper, then it gets stuck in the fabric, then you realize there's another layer of screen to unzip.... Reason #426 why tents make a HORRIBLE ZOMBIE REFUGE!!! But once again I digress....
• Worst Zombie attack advice ever uttered: "Head for the RV!!!"  Seriously? Without the rescue squad's perfect arrival time, these people would have been toast.
• Somebody agrees with me about naming your kid "Merle". Love it.
• You remember on Star Trek how there was always some new guy in Red that was about to die? We need a Hobo-camp group picture so we can see who the "guys in Red" are. I mean quite a few folks got munched... at least 4 by my count, but I was only able to identify Amy and the wife beater. There seems to be quite a few expendable extras.
• As annoying as they can be when it's group bonding time around the campfire, rednecks are awesome to have around when you're in a Zombie shoot-out. Daryl earned his keep in this episode fo sho.
• Can you actually catch fish in a rock quarry?
• Best lines of the episode:
"You got you some balls for a chinamen"
"I'm Korean"

  Most of the episode focused on the quest to find Merle. The boys followed a bloody trail and Daryl got rid of any Zombies in their path without even flinching. I bet he's played a lot of "Call of Duty" - you take your Zombie-kill training where you can find it am I right? Turns out Merle is SUPER hard-core. I mean he severs his own limb, cracks a few Zombies on the head with a wrench without getting eaten (but maybe he got bit!.. see wish #6 from last week.) And then he cauterized his own wound with an old-fashioned iron. Wow. I mean if Merle can get over his "You handcuffed me to a pipe so I will now kill you and all your hobo-camp friends" issues he'll actually be a useful guy to have around - even with only one hand!
    They don't find Merle, but decide to have a go at getting the bag of guns. Glenn volunteers to play "Zombie-Frogger" and runs out after the bag. Meanwhile Daryl gets jumped by a Hispanic street gang and for a minute there I thought I was watching a whole other show. They take Glenn (why?) and run off but leave one of their guys behind.
     Meanwhile back at the ranch the Tool Nazi's deputy is digging graves (who else knew what he was doing the minute they saw it? Show of hands....) because he has sunstroke so Shane wrestles him to the ground. Is it me or does Shane win the Hobo-Camp yearbook award for "most likely to act like a Lord of the Flies Character"? I mean he MEANS well, but this wrestling people to the ground in the name of law and order thing is becoming kind of a habit. By this time I was kind of wondering if this week's episode was going to be as short on Zombies as last week's. Then we had the whole "Defenders of the Old Folks Home" sub-plot and I was actually starting to doze off before we hit paydirt. The final scene was pretty awesome. Loved the contrast of the cozy fish-feed campfire scene that transitioned right into to EPIC Zombie Hobo-Camp ambush. I was a bit disappointed that it was over so quickly however. I was kind of hoping for the survivors to have to make some kind of stand in the RV so we could get a "Zombies flip the RV over" scene. I mean if Zombies all of a sudden appeared at camp, wouldn't there be a lot more of them?
    This leaves us only to discuss what will happen next. So let's talk about what I would like to happen vs what I think WILL happen.
Like:  The survivors circle up and hug it out. They discuss where to go next in a calm, rational manner discussing the pro's and con's of each idea in turn. Sometime in the middle of this, Amy re-animates and starts coming at them and then Daryl shoots her in the head with his crossbow. Andrea loses it and becomes catatonic for an episode or 2. Finally they decide to hole up at an old US military training facility that has high guard towers and a big fenced-in perimeter. They start to head there, getting in Zombie skirmishes as they go, and at one point they run into Morgan and Duane and save them, thus repaying the life debt that Rick owes. Morgan and Duane join them and they continue their journey to their new base camp.
Will: (Remember I haven't read the comic so I'm flying by the seat of my pants here folks... ) The survivors have a funeral in their little prepared cemetery (waste of time), and then have no idea where to go next so they throw themselves on the mercy of the rest-home people.
My idea is so much better....


  1. Okay I gave you props last week for capitalizing Zombies but I have to now reprimand you for not capitalizing Hispanic. I'm Hispanic, but I guess during the Zombie Apocalypse,"there's only white meat and dark meat."

    Boy did you call it with the hobo camp invasion. I mean come on, you're sleeping, you have no gun, you're only wearing underwear and all that's separating you from an undead cannibal is a nylon wall with a zipper??? Well,I guess the show wouldn't be as interesting if they were safe all the time.

  2. Oops Clare! My bad....all fixed now though.

  3. Ha ha ha...thanks! Hope all your Christmas wishes keep coming true!