Monday, November 8, 2010

Having the "Guts" to hope these people get devoured.

I'm losing my faith in humanity. We now have 2 groups of survivors. We've already met the glue-sniffing, lead-paint eating rocket scientists who are all safe and sound in their Zombie-proof Hobo Camp. We began the episode with a nice little view into their daily lives that had me praying for a mid-shag Zombie assault. It turns out that this enclave of brilliance has a splinter cell that went shopping for supplies in a DOWNTOWN ATLANTA DEPARTMENT STORE. I would have gone to the outlet mall myself. I mean nothing screams "city shopping trip!" like the Zombie apocalypse. This group by the way was cast by the same people who bring you reality TV and all it's contrived clashes. "Let's see, we'll need a bunch of minorities and a racist, a gay person and a homophobe, an atheist and a devout Catholic, Bob Harper and at least one morbidly obese person..." For the rest of this entry we'll refer to this group as:
Or RWZ Cast for short. Just to avoid confusion. And like I said before, I WANT to root for the humans, but these people make it so hard. I'm even losing faith in my buddy Rick. I mean you're really going to stand there looking at mermaid jewelry with the angry blonde chick when there are Zombies beating their way through the glass? How about a policy of "Hey nobody go into the super-scary room where the Zombies are about to break in because if we stop taunting them with our nice juicy selves on the other side of the glass they might get bored and forget about us and walk away." OR "let's use the grenade around the corner of the building to distract them away from the door on the outside." People - if it was you and I in there we would have come up with a better plan am I right?
      And about the Zombies - I'm upgrading them folks. To a 6.5 on the Zombie scale. Turns out they are speedier than we previously thought. Or should I say the CITY ones are speedier than we thought. remember last week in suburbia? Even when Morgan was shooting, they never got above a motivated shuffle. Now they're practically running track. Are the city Zombies hungrier? Hmm... Another reason they get an upgrade is for the fabulous use of stone tools which puts them at least on par with the cavemen. I mean using a rock to pound through Department store glass? Pretty savvy for an individual with a decomposing brain. And extremely terrifying. Don't even get me started on the one that scaled the chain-link fence. I mean some of my long-held Zombie beliefs are crumbling faster than Rick's wife's fidelity. (I still support the State Pen idea I'll have you know. Zombies are really bad at getting over chain link fence with razor wire coils on the top. Plus the Chain link gate in this episode was WEAK.)
    So we spent most of our time in this episode with the RWZ cast on the roof of the Department store and there was a lot of wailing and hand wringing about "we're done for" and "you've killed us all" and a dude named "Dixon" (Dickson?) who got a nice lesson about Karma. Nobody came up with the idea of seeing if they could extend some kind of makeshift bridge to the surrounding buildings and then remove it. But they DID come up with the idea of going into the sewers. Note to self: when in doubt, go UP! Zombies can't climb ladders but they can fall into open manholes....
Questions that need to be answered:
Why is Rick keeping the grenade a secret?
Why didn't we even TRY driving the tank? Driving a tank through a Zombie Horde would be so cool...
Will Dickson show up again? I think he will... after all the bag of tools was kicked over.
Will Zombies eventually "give up" and walk away if they don't think you're in there anymore?
Is Rick enroute to meet up with his wife and new co-husband? Whatever will he do?
Are there so few actors left in the US that will star in a Zombie series that we have to cast it with Brits than can do really good American accents? I'm just saying.....


  1. I agree with your previous comments about Rick's transportation choices. Let me see if I have this right: a tank is a bad idea but a horse is a good one??? Hmmm, Rick is starting to make Barney Fife look smart. And "mid-shag Zombie assault"'re killing me.

  2. Thanks Clare! Hey, how did you find this blog? I started writing it which is super fun but I really.have no clue how to get it out there. Good to know one person out there is reading it!

  3. I finally found your blog tonight after looking for it for a half hour. Gee!!! The first time I stumbled upon it it, a few weeks ago, was on The Walking Dead fan page on facebook. There is definitely a niche for your blog but I'm not sure how you could get it out there either. I guess just keep sharing on TWD facebook fan page with catchy titles. I'll keep reading if you keep writing! :)

  4. I'm totally loving your blog......and have had many a discussion with my husband about many of the points you have made! We think alike!
    I agree about the horsey.....I thought we'd have a bit of a zombie McCloud going on!! LOL!
    It is a fab series though.

    Greetings from Wales UK from a fellow female zombie freak!