Man, oh man, is there anything WORSE than being handcuffed to a pipe with Zombies about to break through the door? The opening sequence had me curled up on the couch biting off all my fingernails in horror. You DO NOT want to be the annoying team member in a Zombie outbreak. The consequences are soooo much worse than being left out of the next girl's night or voted off the Island. If course if it were me I would have been going after the tools with the belt long before the Zombies showed up at the door, but I'm kind of a planner....
So the credits roll and then we see the cast of the Real World Zombieland show up back at the hobo camp. There's a teary reunion filled with shock and tears (awww...) And then Rick says:
"You guys can't be serious living up here like this. There is no way I'm sleeping in a tent tonight. Let's go find an outpost!"
Apparently with all he's been through, Rick has no problem gettin' jiggy with it in the family tent. The mind boggles.
They have a little debrief around the campfire and we meet the next candidate who needs to be chained to a pipe. Everyone's gettin' a little too relaxed at the ol' hobo camp and one guy thinks an extra log on the fire might be a good idea. We also learn that left-behind Merle has a brother who is equally as charming.
The next morning they find a Zombie mackin' on a dead deer right on the edge of camp. They speedily hack it up and then someone says:
"Jeepers! A Zombie right here in our camp! What if it had eaten us in our tents last night? Maybe we should think about moving to a more secure location!"
While I'm being critical, let's talk about the ways we kill the undead. I have to say that I'm lovin' the crossbow!! Shot to the head from a safe distance, then reusable ammo. Limited mess. With a gunbelt full of arrows on one side and baby wipes and purell on the other you could pretty much go on forever with the crossbow.
Guns are good, as long as you don't run out of ammo. If you do, you'd better have a back-up in the form of a knife, machete, or blunt object.
I'm thinking going Midieval isn't a bad plan. A long sword, spear or Lochaber would all be fine to have around in a Zombie outbreak.
Baseball bats, tire irons, and short handled clubs not so much. If this thing is passed from Zombie to person with bites or scratches do you really want flecks of Zombie juice flying through the air landing on your lips, skin, or in your EYE? No dear reader, you don't. Use the face shield or get rid of the baseball bats. I mean you wouldn't get into a fist fight with an Ebola patient am I right? I'm just saying....
So Next our hero decides to go back and get Merle. They convince the others, get a bolt-cutter from the Tool Nazi and his buddy (who are high on my list of people who will get eaten soon) and then Rick says:
"In case the camp gets overrun, let's make a plan to meet up at an alternate location just in case anything goes wrong with either group."
Which means that the camp will almost definitely get overrun maybe as early as next Sunday night! That will separate Rick from his family again and get us back into "Quest Mode" so I'm giving this good odds. Who wants to predict who we lose in the fray? My vote goes to Older Sis, (formerly known as the Angry Blonde), one of the tool guys, and if we're super-lucky the wife slapping, "throw another log on the fire" idiot.
Off they go to save Merle. Next there's a scene at the lake in the Quarry. Now water scenes make me really jumpy. Especially when people are standing in waist deep water. Zombies can totally hang out in water because they don't need to breathe. I mean it's not good for 'em because they get all granny-wrinkled and fish nibble on them so they decay faster, but if they wander in to water they can wander around under the surface for quite a while. So I'm just waiting for a Zombie to break the surface and start going to town which is really distracting so I kind of missed the snit between Shane and Lori. Does it REALLY matter what it was about though? I mean we all just want to see more Zombies - which were in kind of short supply in this episode and I DO know that their fight got Shane so riled up that he beat the PISS out of the misogynist wife-slapper so that's awesome....
So the Merle squad wanders through relatively empty streets (cuz the Zombies are all heading up into the hills to gnaw on the rescuer's families...) and we see the crossbow in action once again - NICE! Then we get up to the roof, fling open the door, and discover that Merle pulled the Aron Ralston. Nice job Einstein. We actually went back to the start of the episode and did a frame by frame to find SEVERAL other things that Merle could have cut up with his hacksaw other than his hand but whatever floats your boat Merle. I mean name your kid "Merle" and they're bound to cut off their own limbs somehow so he was probably long overdue. So Merle is gone, the Zombies at the door are gone, and we're left to wonder if these 2 things go together. How did drippy-stump Merle get past the Zombies and off the roof? He's not a walker himself (yet) because Zombies aren't smart enough to remember vendettas and boy oh boy does Merle have one now! We'll see him again soon.
In the meantime here is my Christmas Wish-list:
I wanna see:
The Hobo camp get invaded
A Zombie come out of the water
Somebody get bitten and then re-animate
A flashback to what it was like getting through the first weeks of the Zombie outbreak for those not on the Coma plan.
The chicks in the show put down the washing and start packing heat!
Merle get turned into a Zombie. Specifically I would like him to show up for revenge bitten but still human. Oh the DRAMA!
The return of Duane and Morgan