Monday, March 19, 2012

Walking Dead Episode 213: Beside the Dying Fire

No, No, NO!! I'm not buyin' it. Not buyin' it at ALL!! And I'm bummed because this is the first time I've had to really and truly call foul on this favorite show of ours.
1.) A HELICOPTER flying over head causes a massive herd to migrate all the way out to Hershel's farm from Atlanta?!? Not a chance! As if Chopper noise would cause OUR walkers that we know and love to ABANDON A MEAL and shuffle mindlessly off AWAY from the food? I think not. If that were true then a barking dog, a woodpecker, a falling tree branch, or any other number of random noises would have sent the herd veering off into a million directions. Plus if all Zombies "herded" like this then they would be very, very easy to get rid of. You could trick them into surrounds and just burn them in mass groups. Nope. It's the random Zombie that surprises you in the trees that has kept the series scary. That's the rules of Zombies and they need to stick to those rules and not change them completely just because it's season finale time and they need a whole bunch of them to show up for a big finish. Lazy writing.
2.) The whole gang goes out in vehicles at high speeds with shotguns and handguns over rough terrain. And headshot after headshot I never saw anybody miss. Not even once. Since WHEN is this possible? C'mon PEOPLE! Why groom this amazing, thoughtful, and delightfully intelligent fan-base and then insult us like this in the finale? They were up against a losing cause anyway so it's not as if their success was ever going to be a function of accuracy right?
3.) We lost Jimmy and Patricia. Yawn. Who didn't see that coming? Since we met them their fate couldn't have been more clear if they were red-shirt wearing ensigns on board the Star Ship Enterprise. Both those characters screamed "disposable!" from the get-go.
So they run for it. And make it off the ranch in sub-groups. Lori and Man-Pants make it off with T-Dog. Beth is also wearing a red Star Trek shirt by the way. It's just gonna take a while longer. Daryl drives off the farm but then sits at the end of the driveway staring contemplatively at the sky. (?) Because that's what I would do if I were fleeing a Zombie horde. NOT! So conveniently he is right there to hear Carol's screams and she makes it out with him. Glen and Maggie get away together and their story and emotional thread is really the only one that feels authentic. Rick saves Hershel and they get away with Carl and Andrea gets left behind. Andrea's story thread is pretty much the only redeeming thing about the episode from here on out. I'm gonna save it for last because I really like happy endings.
    So they all meet up on the highway (no thanks to Hershel and T-dog), count their losses and hug it out. In my little world it would also be time for Purell and face-washing but you know me. Love Daryl in this scene. First it's the Asian driver comment and then the way he dispatches the argyle sweater Zombie the way most of us would offer to answer the doorbell. "I'll get it!"
   They breakdown on the side of the road and discuss the last 24 hours and it comes out that people turn into Zombies because everyone's infected. So if you die from anything you turn. NOT BUYING IT. First of all if that were true you could get bitten and as long as the bite didn't kill you you should be fine. This could totally explain why they are constantly exposed to Zombie spackle and it doesn't affect them. But if that's true then Jim should have been fine when he got bit. It wasn't a lethal wound and if he was already infected with the Zombie virus and ANY death would have resulted in his turning, then the bite should not have killed him. Because whatever was in the bite was something he already had. If everyone is already infected God help Lori if she gets 6 or so months along in her pregnancy and then miscarries. She'll have a zombie fetus trying to claw it's way out of her. That's gonna make all pregnancies a little more high-risk. As if the high probability of giving birth in the woods wasn't scary enough. Geez....
    Then the episode just dissolves into.... hmm what's the right word. It wasn't bad, not weird, just... off. It was "off". Rick's different. Lori's feral or something now that she knows about Shane. And no one is using their heads anymore. I mean they choose to sleep out by the side of the road. But let's look at this screenshot.
 Take a close look at that fence. It's really nice. What would you say a fence like that would cost? 7-9$ per linear foot? They don't line country roads with fences like that. And oh, what's that in the distance? Is it a transformer? I believe it is! So why not take a little stroll down the lane and spend the night at the McMansion that's at the end of that driveway and behind that fence. It's not rocket science gang. You may even be able to rustle up some grub. I gotta walk away. It's all too sad and pathetic. I'm going to NEED until next October to get over this episode.
  But like I said before - go out on a happy ending. Andrea's story was great. She's so hard-core and epic that I'm kinda starting to like her. But with all those Zombies no one could hold out indefinitely. She lost her ammo, she beat them off with guns, lost her knife in one of their skulls and got taken down. I was so bummed at that moment because I KNEW that no one was coming to save her. Until.....Michonne!! She showed up in all her glory looking just like I always thought she would. I actually jumped off the couch and hit my hand against the ceiling (by mistake... ouch!) Her moment of introduction was visually perfect. And kind of redeemed the episode for me. So now all we have to do is sit back on our heels and speculate until sometime next October. Oh man.....


  1. A zombie bite induces a high fever that kills you faster. I would guess the zombie virus lays dormant while you are alive like the chicken pox virus and then at some point it breaks out and you end up with shingles (full blown zombie).
    Zombies might carry dozens of viruses and bacteria that would give you that fever and cause death.

    I think the point is that basically everyone is the "Walking Dead".

  2. I appreciate your review in that it is analytical and explores some of the challenges to suspending disbelief as a fan of this show. Everyone says we are watching a zombie show so there is no reality to this at all. I still want my characters and plot to be similar to what actual people would do.

    1. It always bothered me that the group camped out in the first season and they slept outside at Herschels. It really makes no sense from any perspective.
    2. Also, they are out of gas in one truck so they camp out in the woods again? Aren't there a large number of trucks and cars on the highway from which to siphon gas?
    3. Low on ammo? I live in Georgia, and there are lots of gun stores here. Also, police and sheriff stations.
    4. McMansion is a great house idea, but even better - a school that has bars and high fences all around as well as medical supplies and kitchen facilites.

    But I really do like the show very much in spite of these issues. Love the Michonne character (I would be her) and look forward to next season.

  3. BlackRock - that is an excellent theory. Kind of like getting bitten by a Kimodo Dragon you reckon'?
    Dina I love the show too. And like you said for a Zombie show it's usually really high quality! So it's kind of a bummer to be let down in the finale...