Walking Dead Season 3, Episode 310: Home

You know there's good hallucinating and bad hallucinating. Good hallucinating is when you know you're losing it so you see phantoms and hear your little voices and talk on the phone to dead people but you keep that your little secret and you don't let anyone know. Even when your special ghost people show up in front of other people you just play it cool and pretend you don't see them. I mean if the small kid in "The Sixth Sense" could do it then c'mon Rick dude, SURELY you can pull this off too. And you don't have to explain why all of a sudden you've got frosty breath syndrome that that kid did....
  Bad hallucinating on the other hand is when you have one-sided screaming conversations with your hallucinations in front of everyone and/or go bolting outside of your secure compound leaving all the gates open behind you. At that point, you've become a huuuuge liability and if I were part of your group I would seriously have to consider taking you out into the woods for a one-way nature hike. "Sorry guys... Rick got attacked by a rabid flying squirrel and fell off a cliff... there was nothing I could do."
  Credits roll and we cut to a short and very pointless conversation between Andreea and the Gov. Arghh.... as IF he's going to step down instead of being the same old crazy, sadistic tyrant that we all know and want to kill. All the leadership on this show is NUTS right now my friends, NUTS. He's trying to side-track her so he can go on a rampage against the prison and it's Andreea so of course his little ploy works.
   Then we cut to Daryl and Merle just kind of floating around in the woods and Daryl is having second thoughts about leaving the group. YES!!
  And back in the Prison Glen is showing some real leadership and he may actually be sane! Hope that doesn't mean he gets popped or eaten soon. It's so nice to see someone making a rational plan. I liked the idea of sneaking up on the Gov and taking him out but that's just me. So they have to decide whether they run or stay and fight. To me trying to make a stand without Daryl is madness. But leaving with an infant and a one-legged guy is also crazy. That doesn't leave them a whole lot of options. What's up with Maggie. She didn't get raped and they got out of Woodbury alive. This isn't Sweet Valley High babe, it's the Zombie Apocalypse. You had to take your shirt off. We get it. But I mean COME ON. It's not like you had chop off your own hand or have someone cut a baby out of you with no anesthesia. In the Z.A. you take your licks and you move on. And I mean with the responsibility of the group now resting on his narrow shoulders Glen is going to need the love of a good woman not to mention a good shag now and then.
  Then we're back to Merle and Daryl and Merle is being a blathering idiot as usual. They come upon a group of people getting attacked by walkers and Daryl stages an EPIC rescue. How much do we love watching Daryl in action? I love it when he stops shooting the crossbow and just starts stabbing people in the head with arrow. What a stud.  AND he scores the Zombie Kill of the Week by slamming one of their heads in the trunk of the car. Wow. The whole thing is just awesome until it's over and Merle - who manages to get off about 20 racial slurs AS he's fighting a zombie battle - wants to loot them. He really has no redeeming qualities. Daryl gets to see Merle with fresh eyes and realizes that his place is back with his true family at the prison. We're left hoping that he gets there in time.
   Back at the prison Glenn is off on a personal vendetta and Rick has, indeed become the mayor of crazy town. I love his comment that he's got "stuff out here" and he doesn't know how much longer he'll be out there. The way Hershel deals with him is so gentle. Season 3 Hershel has totally redeemed himself from season 2 in my books. So glad he didn't get eaten when I wanted him to. We cut to Carol who is having a nice conversation with Axel when his head explodes and all hell breaks loose. Major points to Carol for having a casual conversation with someone one minute and using their dead body as a human shield seconds later. Major deductions to Carl and Beth for attempting to take cover behind a open metal bleachers AND for failing to hit the dude in the guard tower even though he didn't take cover once! Remember at the end of season 2 where there was the shoot-out at the farm and this group was cranking out head-shots with no misses? Geez, what happened to them....
    The gov attacks them with gunfire AND a trojan-horse van of Zombies and I gotta say that the take home message of the whole battle is that the samurai sword is really the Z.A. weapon of choice. Look what happens to Rick when he runs out of bullets. He's left trying pistol-whip the suckers and fight them hand to hand. But Michonne strolls into the area full of Zombies and you just want to yell at everyone to stay safe behind her. She just takes them out so fast and never has to even get close. They need to bust out the yellow pages, find the nearest martial arts  mega-store and hook the whole group up with that business.
   And just when Rick was about to achieve epic fail status, Daryl returns! Points for all the awesome moves dude, but deductions for bringing Merle back with you. I feel very satisfied at the end of this episode that even though dark clouds loom on the horizon the whole little gang is back together and together they can face what's coming.
Q: What happened to Sasha and Tyreese and that whole gang? Surely they didn't take Rick at his word to get out when 1.) He was clearly insane when he said it and 2.) Everyone else wanted them to stay. They're gonna need them if they plan to fight the gov. Maybe they were just napping back in ca cell somewhere.

I will not get to see Next week's episode until March. I will be in Disney World, and you know... Zombies and Disney don't mix. (Zombies are SO unmagical...) Who wants to guest-blog next week's episode for me?