Walking Dead Episode 213: Beside the Dying Fire

No, No, NO!! I'm not buyin' it. Not buyin' it at ALL!! And I'm bummed because this is the first time I've had to really and truly call foul on this favorite show of ours.
1.) A HELICOPTER flying over head causes a massive herd to migrate all the way out to Hershel's farm from Atlanta?!? Not a chance! As if Chopper noise would cause OUR walkers that we know and love to ABANDON A MEAL and shuffle mindlessly off AWAY from the food? I think not. If that were true then a barking dog, a woodpecker, a falling tree branch, or any other number of random noises would have sent the herd veering off into a million directions. Plus if all Zombies "herded" like this then they would be very, very easy to get rid of. You could trick them into surrounds and just burn them in mass groups. Nope. It's the random Zombie that surprises you in the trees that has kept the series scary. That's the rules of Zombies and they need to stick to those rules and not change them completely just because it's season finale time and they need a whole bunch of them to show up for a big finish. Lazy writing.
2.) The whole gang goes out in vehicles at high speeds with shotguns and handguns over rough terrain. And headshot after headshot I never saw anybody miss. Not even once. Since WHEN is this possible? C'mon PEOPLE! Why groom this amazing, thoughtful, and delightfully intelligent fan-base and then insult us like this in the finale? They were up against a losing cause anyway so it's not as if their success was ever going to be a function of accuracy right?
3.) We lost Jimmy and Patricia. Yawn. Who didn't see that coming? Since we met them their fate couldn't have been more clear if they were red-shirt wearing ensigns on board the Star Ship Enterprise. Both those characters screamed "disposable!" from the get-go.
So they run for it. And make it off the ranch in sub-groups. Lori and Man-Pants make it off with T-Dog. Beth is also wearing a red Star Trek shirt by the way. It's just gonna take a while longer. Daryl drives off the farm but then sits at the end of the driveway staring contemplatively at the sky. (?) Because that's what I would do if I were fleeing a Zombie horde. NOT! So conveniently he is right there to hear Carol's screams and she makes it out with him. Glen and Maggie get away together and their story and emotional thread is really the only one that feels authentic. Rick saves Hershel and they get away with Carl and Andrea gets left behind. Andrea's story thread is pretty much the only redeeming thing about the episode from here on out. I'm gonna save it for last because I really like happy endings.
    So they all meet up on the highway (no thanks to Hershel and T-dog), count their losses and hug it out. In my little world it would also be time for Purell and face-washing but you know me. Love Daryl in this scene. First it's the Asian driver comment and then the way he dispatches the argyle sweater Zombie the way most of us would offer to answer the doorbell. "I'll get it!"
   They breakdown on the side of the road and discuss the last 24 hours and it comes out that people turn into Zombies because everyone's infected. So if you die from anything you turn. NOT BUYING IT. First of all if that were true you could get bitten and as long as the bite didn't kill you you should be fine. This could totally explain why they are constantly exposed to Zombie spackle and it doesn't affect them. But if that's true then Jim should have been fine when he got bit. It wasn't a lethal wound and if he was already infected with the Zombie virus and ANY death would have resulted in his turning, then the bite should not have killed him. Because whatever was in the bite was something he already had. If everyone is already infected God help Lori if she gets 6 or so months along in her pregnancy and then miscarries. She'll have a zombie fetus trying to claw it's way out of her. That's gonna make all pregnancies a little more high-risk. As if the high probability of giving birth in the woods wasn't scary enough. Geez....
    Then the episode just dissolves into.... hmm what's the right word. It wasn't bad, not weird, just... off. It was "off". Rick's different. Lori's feral or something now that she knows about Shane. And no one is using their heads anymore. I mean they choose to sleep out by the side of the road. But let's look at this screenshot.

 Take a close look at that fence. It's really nice. What would you say a fence like that would cost? 7-9$ per linear foot? They don't line country roads with fences like that. And oh, what's that in the distance? Is it a transformer? I believe it is! So why not take a little stroll down the lane and spend the night at the McMansion that's at the end of that driveway and behind that fence. It's not rocket science gang. You may even be able to rustle up some grub. I gotta walk away. It's all too sad and pathetic. I'm going to NEED until next October to get over this episode.
  But like I said before - go out on a happy ending. Andrea's story was great. She's so hard-core and epic that I'm kinda starting to like her. But with all those Zombies no one could hold out indefinitely. She lost her ammo, she beat them off with guns, lost her knife in one of their skulls and got taken down. I was so bummed at that moment because I KNEW that no one was coming to save her. Until.....Michonne!! She showed up in all her glory looking just like I always thought she would. I actually jumped off the couch and hit my hand against the ceiling (by mistake... ouch!) Her moment of introduction was visually perfect. And kind of redeemed the episode for me. So now all we have to do is sit back on our heels and speculate until sometime next October. Oh man.....

Walking Dead Epsiode 212: Better Angels

I have 2 things to say right off the cuff and then I'm gonna need to rock and cry for a bit before I finish tonight's missive. 1 - This show has become a Greek Tragedy. Seriously... I'm starting to feel like if I joined a grief support group it would be full of fellow TWD fans. It makes the Stephen King book I'm currently reading seem like a romance novel. 2 - At the rate they're killing off major characters the show will be over in about 2 more episodes. A few brave shows in the history of TV have had the cojones to kill of a major player, but has ANY show ever killed off main characters 2 weeks in a row? ANY?!? Somebody please go grab an almanac, check the Wiki or phone a friend - I'm dying to know.
   Ok, I'm back from my grief session. The thing is, this episode started out so WELL. I had hope that the group was going to rally around the standard of Dale and his morality. I guess the fact that a bunch of them had to go postal on a bunch of walkers should have tipped me off. But seriously, who doesn't need to blow off some steam after a funeral? Andrea and Glen had a moment (at the Winnie appropriately enough) where they both came to grips with how much Dale had meant to them. Carl came clean to Shane about seeing the walker and not telling anyone and I was dumb enough to think that this was kind of a cathartic moment. I thought that Shane might be able to move into a new role in the group, be a mentor to Carl, a protector to the rest of them and discreetly shag Andrea on the side. I thought he might you know, move on. But then Lori had to go and ruin the whole thing. Aauuuurrrghgh!!!
    Lori in her infinite wisdom decides that it might be a really, really nice idea if she catches Shane alone, looks deep and longingly into his liquid brown eyes, and does some tip toeing down memory lane about the time they spent together knockin' boots in the woods. She looks at him with anguish and tells him woefully that she "doesn't even know who's baby this is!" And then she thanks him and says how sorry she is about how things have gone down. Next time Lori, just strip naked and go for it right there at the windmill. If pouring gasoline all over some smouldering embers that are just about to finally, FINALLY go out is your goal, why not really knock it out of the park?
   So Shane, in his usual unstable state, gets the realization that the baby MIGHT be his and that Lori MIGHT still have feelings for him all in one 5 minute conversation. If only Rick were out of the picture!! Wait a minute.....
     Not gonna recap the rest of what happened because it's too painful. But as usual I have some  things to point out. Hershel! What a change eh? He's organizing marshmellow roasts and inviting people in to re-decorate. He'll be spooning with T-Dog before you know it. I'm actually starting to like the guy. And of COURSE they just figured this group harmony thing out and now they're probably going to have to flee for their lives. Typical.
   Daryl is back and still awesome. And you know that when they split off into 2 groups you don't even have to worry about Glen because for Daryl tracking dead people or escaped prisoners through the foggy woods at midnight is right in his comfort zone. And he's once again laying down the best line of the episode:
"I don't see you and I trading haymakers on the side of the road."
I love him and if they EVER kill him off I may have to do something drastic in protest. He makes me a bit nervous because he's not in the comic at all so I have NO idea whether or not his character may live or die. I mean Shane lasted a LOT longer than he did in the comic and Dale not nearly as long but they were both eventually killed off. Daryl also has a total realization in the woods. He is maybe the first character that GETS that people that didn't get bit are now turning into Zombies. If by the end of the episode Rick and Carl don't get that too then I don't know what it's gonna take, and with what's coming at them from across the field it doesn't look like they're gonna have much time to discuss it but still. And please tell me that a crowd of Zombies that size would do SOMETHING to tip you off so that Rick and Carl don't get blindsided. I mean you'd hear them coming right?!? You'd SMELL them coming don't you think?!? Next week is going to be sooo epic.
   The scene at the end was beautifully shot. Maybe I noticed that only because I was so horrified with what was going down that I had to take my mind off it... ("the loons! Can you hear the loons?!?") but it was. As soon as Rick handed his gun to Shane I saw him going for his knife and I was so relieved. So I know where my loyalty lies. Sorry Shane. Wish you weren't leaving, but since you are "See-Ya."
  

Walking Dead Episode 211: Judge, Jury, Executioner

Remember a while back when I said that what makes the show so awesome is that it's not a lot of D-cup teens running around in tank tops, being chased by Zombies and screaming? Remember how I said that the depth of the characters and the drama and the quality of the acting were all things that make the show great? Yeah. I totally lied. Can we have an episode where a bunch of half-naked co-eds that I don't care about get messily eaten? Just, you know, a few moments of nail biting, harmless, jump out of your seat type Freddy Kruger scary TV would be nice. Because I swear this series is starting to have more metaphors and symbolism than 12th grade English class and I have no IDEA where to go to buy the Cliffs notes.
    And now we lost DALE?!? Wow. Of all the deaths that have come so far, this one is the hardest to take. And I may not have gotten ALL the symbolism but I do get that by being forced to shoot him in the head they are really putting the parts of themselves that are still hanging on to humanity and compassion out of their misery. Yikes.
   The show opens with Daryl going all "goodfellas" on Russel to try to find out what he knows. And we find out some rather unpleasant details about the group that Russel was part of. I'm getting whiplash. Every time I think that PEOPLE are now the biggest threat, the Zombies remind us that they're still out there and then we hear about Russel and the way his group was carrying on and it turns out that in this new world, people may be scarier after all. So now they have to decide to eliminate the threat or try to retain their humanity. Shane is pretty predictable as to where he stands. It's everyone else that's surprising. Andrea first guards the prisoner for Dale and then in the end fully takes Dale's side. Carol and Hershel want to take the easy path and opt out. Lori sides with Rick. How can she not see that someday the same thing may happen to Carl? wouldn't she want him to be given a second chance? If all humans shoot each other just based on the fear of what they might do then there really is no future worth fighting for. Glenn and Maggie uncharacteristically don't speak out in defense of Dale or Russel. And then there's Carl. He's totally out of control in this episode and flirting with aaaaalll kinds of disaster. He's sassing adults, stealing guns, baiting Zombies and not following directions. This is the kid they're trying to redeem the future for and it's only when he steps in to witness what may happen that Rick realizes that the future may not be worth saving if that's how they're going to live it.
   Zombie count in this episode = 1. A single measly Zombie. And these people have lived through some HARROWING stuff, and yet they're wandering around woods and fields humming in the sunbeams like they're in a Normal Rockwell painting instead of the Z.A. Carl is practically feral. Are you kidding me?!? I wouldn't let my kids out of my SIGHT, never mind wandering over to Daryl's camp to look at his motorcycle, guns, and drying ears. All the ill-fated Zombies that were in the barn were captured on farm property. Is it really such a stretch to think that there might be more out there wandering around? Maybe I'm missing a lot more symbolism because I'm waiting for Zombies to jump out of the high grass and take someone out. And then that's exactly what happens! Geez, I hate being paranoid AND right all the time. And if you and I were in livin' in the Z.A would we really stare at a munched-on cow for waaaaaay too long or would we instantly take the gun off our shoulder and do a 360 to find the culprit? I mean Dale, come ON dude, you don't have to sit there wondering. There's only one thing that could have caused that kind of damage.
Speaking of damaged cows - I know there's a lot of deeper things to still talk about but can we pause for a palate-cleanser and just hash out some basic Zombie Q & A for a sec? That skinny little sucker ate a HUGE helping of cow with not so much as a food-baby to show for it. You'd think he wouldn't even be interested in Dale. Are the things ever sated? Do they ever just decide that they're done hunting humans for a little while and lie down for a post-feast nap? When they eat stuff, where does it go? Why was Dale walking across a field in the dark, and why didn't everyone RUN to help him when he started screaming? In the zombie world screams mean only one thing and the whole group heard him and then acted like he may have just been surprised by a field mouse. Jeepers people....
     I think it's very symbolic that Dale does not get bitten but has to be shot. I also think it's very interesting that Daryl is wearing a new vest with angel's wings on it. But the sad truth is that 12th grade English was never my best subject and this episode was chock full of hints, foreshadowing, deeper meaning and clues about the future. So help me out peeps, what did I miss?
 

Walking Dead S2 Episode 10: 18 Miles Out

Shane fights dirty. You threw a motorcycle onto him, Really?!? Masterful Storytelling!! The episode started out with a heart-pounding flash forward that left me squirming. And then I spent the better part of the episode freaking out as I waited for it to happen. Nice one.
  I'm subtitling this one "The Vacation Episode" because it seems like most of the cast was on vacay. Not sure why they need one only 3 episodes into the 2nd half of season 2 but whatever. Glen, Carl, Carol, Daryl, Hershel, Dale and Jimmy were all M.I.A and the focus was all on Rick and Shane and then some girl drama back at the farm. BTW how fast can you say "Dale, Glen, Carl, Carol, Daryl and Hershcl???" They all have an 'l' in them which is kinda weird when you think about it.
    This episode also gets an award for putting major characters at risk with absolutely nothing to show for it. NOTHING. In fact they burned more than 40 miles of gas and bashed each others faces in so they're actually net loss. They at LEAST should have come out of this with some canned goods. And remember dear reader - the purpose of this blog is not just to re-cap this excellent show but to critique decisions so we can do better if it happens to us. So lets make a pact that if you and I ever get sent to drop off an interloper so he can't find his way back but then he talks his way out of it and we have to drag his sorry hide all the way back with us that we'll at least try to hit a 7-11 on the way home and bring back some stale Doritos OK?
     I'm not gonna give you a blow by blow this week. I watched it and so did you so we both know what happened. But there are some major things that we need to discuss and I want your opinion. What's up with the 2 security guards that have no marks on them? One thing that has been conspicuously missing from our characters conversations is discussions about Zombie Theories. If you and I were immersed in the Z.A., I'm pretty sure we'd have a bi-weekly session around the campfire when our chores were done to discuss the finer points of Zombie take-downs, how to avoid being infected, and why the sketchy things rose up in the first place. Mass Zombie transmission couldn't possibly have occurred with bite to bite transmission right? I mean most people that get bitten would probably have been consumed so there wouldn't have been that many of the things left. So scratches, splatter and other flying bits could definitely be a gateway to infection. I know I've talked about this before but few episodes have left me rocking on the couch chanting "Wash your face, wash your face..." like this one did. Plus what about "Zombie Zero" - the first walker to rise up? THAT Zombie didn't get bit, so there must be SOMETHING out there that can infect without biting. They were both government employees. Do you think they got some kind of preventative "Vaccine" that was bogus? That would create multiple seed points for starting the Z.A. and pretty much ensure that it would be impossible to contain. How can our main characters not talk about this stuff?? Is any of this what CDC guy whispered to Rick at the end of season 1? I want theories people and I want them now....
     Back at the farm. Coma girl's awake and wants to end it. All of this is really a vehicle for Lori and Andrea to have the BEST CATFIGHT EVER!! And Andrea totally won it. "A husband, a son, a baby AND a boyfriend ..."?!? Oh SNAP sista - lay it on! 'Bout time too if you ask me. That's what Lori gets for being all persnickity about the workload. And in the end Coma girl makes a feeble attempt to end it and everyone relaxes because they think she now wants to live. That's the exact conclusion I always come to when someone I know shatters a bathroom mirror and slits their wrists with the shards. "Great news! They didn't really want to do kill themselves after all! Moving on..." They should probably give her a handgun to keep under her pillow just in case fence-leg gets out of the barn. That's some rock-solid decision making people.
   So the episode didn't really move the plot forward too much. We're left in the same situation we were in at the end of last week. But I do know that when men beat the snot out of each other they're usually best friends again afterwards and when women have strong words in the kitchen they can hate each other for YEARS so in terms of character development we learned a whole bunch. What do you think happened to the 2 guards at the public works department? And what are they going to do with their hostage? What would YOU do?

Walking Dead Episode 9: Triggerfinger

Is it me or is this the shortest 42 minute show that's EVER been televised? Seriously folks, 10 minutes into the episode the credits roll and I'm all "What?? Noooooo!!!" Someone shut off the time warp so I can enjoy a full episode. Or is that impossible because the show's just so darn GOOD???
    A lot happened last week. Rick got hard-core, Hershel got a dose of reality (he got a triple dose this week but more on that later..) and the theme of the second half of season 2 is emerging: we have much more to fear from the living still among us than we do from the dead.
Love that each episode so far is starting right where the last one left off. Rick, Glen and Hershel were still standing in shock looking at the 2 dead guys and letting the reality of what had just happened sink in. And then the dead guy's friends showed up. I was impressed with just how quickly Hershel got with the program. There were no sermons, no platitudes, and no judgements. It's about time H. And we even find out at the end of the episode that he has decided to let the group stay at the farm. So what happened in the bar may have been more of a watershed moment for him than what happened at the barn.
    The 3 guys have a stand-off with these newcomers and then a minor gun fight. They shoot one guy and Hershel gets to see Walkers in action for the first time when they start munching on the fallen. Cudos to him for not going catatonic like other members of his family that will go unmentioned. Then a young man gets abandoned when his leg is impaled on a metal fence. So our trio of heros try to amputate his leg while walkers close in on them from both sides. And I have No. Fingernails. Left by the time this scene is over.
  Finally in an utterly brutal move Rick just rips the leg clean and they take off. In the Zombie apocalypse, sometimes there just isn't time for civilized solutions friends, am I right?
     Then we cut to Lori. Good Ol' Lori. The most frustrating thing about this show is that any character may actually die at anytime (and they have!!) with the exception (for now) of Rick and Lori. Rick because it's HIS story and Lori because (for now but not for always God Pleeeeeease) Lori is way too pivotal to what's happening between Rick and Shane. So we're stuck with her. But as a walker peeled it's own face off trying to eat her through her car windshield I had fantasies of her going. She's just way too annoying. So she gets out and Shane has to get her and lie to bring her back and she freaks out on him yada, yada.
     We had a nice scene in the house where Carl finds out that he'll be a big brother. The TV show is delightfully setting it's own path so unlike in the comic Carl might even get to be a big brother for more than a week, you never know. Then we had a scene with Shane and Lori where we find out just how intensely off the deep end Shane has gotten. Poor poor Shane. There is really only one hard and fast rule for dating and shagging during the Zombie Apocalypse:
Shake yourself off and move on.
Because people come and go fast in the Z.A. right? So you can't go all "New Moon Bella" staring out a window for 3 months" every time you lose someone cuz you'll get EATEN! Shane.... Andrea is happy to shag you AND swoon over you every time you give gun advice. A bird in the hand bro.... just sayin'.
     Then we have Daryl. I'm so, so disappointed in my boy Daryl. Yes he tried to find Sophia and she ended up a Zombie, and Yes he's utterly disillusioned and hopeless, and Yes he feels like he no longer fits in with the only family he's ever had. D-man, I GET it, but you have to pull yourself together. Pick yourself up, shoot a few squirrels, add some ears to your collection, you'll feel a whole lot better and you can stop abusing Carol. He'll be back. I have total faith that Daryl Dixon will be redeemed. Then again, it IS the walking dead. I better follow my own rule of attachment just in case.
    So at the end we're left wondering what to do about fence-leg and what to do about Shane. I keep wondering if a plot line is going to veer us back to the main plot thread of the comic and at this point I really, really hope that it doesn't. I love that it's following it's own path and I love that I'm always guessing. I mean people who should be dead are still with us and people that should be alive are dead or Zombies so there's no telling what will happen next. I guess I'll just have to wait until next week's 10 minute episode....

Episode 8: "Nebraska"

Holy Smokes gang, it's gettin' feral. Rick has gone over to some other place and I'm not sure I like it. So glad the episode started off right exactly where the last one left off. It was much too monumental of a moment not to and we really needed to see how everyone reacted - I mean beside being horror-stricken and having to rock in a dark corner for a bit which one character actually DOES.
   The group is pretty much divided into 2 camps:
Camp 1: It had to be done.
Camp 2: Dude that was NOT cool....
   And who falls into which camp is pretty predictable. The saddest reactions to the whole thing are Carol, Carl and Daryl (say THAT 5 times fast....). Carol now has no strings of attachment left from her old life at all and we wonder how she'll even continue living. Daryl put all his chips on black and red came up and I'm not sure he'll be able to work through his disillusionment. And Carl is just waaaay too hard-core for a kid. Still though, if the choices are hard-core or lying on the bed catatonic, I'd rather have the hard-core people on my team.
   For me the most interesting thing about the episode was watching Rick and Shane's paths cross over and flip over the course of one 45 minute segment. Shane starts out crazy, impulsive, violent, screamin' Shane and by the end of it he's washing Carol's hands for her and gently comforting her with his words and actions. Rick starts out as the more conservative "think before you act" leader of the group and by the end of the episode he's shooting living people. We've crossed over to a different place my friends.
   I don't have too much to criticize as far as decisions go this week. Although I DID let out a groan when Andrea jumped in the back of the truck with the dead Walkers. Really dude? You're gonna ride in the back with them? What if there's leaky fluids back there that all start running off the end of the truck as soon as it starts moving? What if one of them is only PLAYING dead like good ol' Mom and bites you when your back is turned. I'm not one for red-tape and procedures but these people need to write some kind of Zombie handling protocol and they all need to stick to it.
  Then there's Lori. You know how at an 8th grade dance there's always that one girl that thrives on drama and goes insanely out of her way to rile everyone up and stir the pot? Yep. Everyone pause dramatically - back of the hand to forehead. "Oh no! she's catatonic! We NEED Hershel! Whatever will we do? Whoever will we send? Oh my oh goodness..." insert hand wringing here "Will no one HELP me and fetch them? I suppose I'll just have to go alone."
    Because a vet will be able to do SO MUCH for a psychiatric patient right? Put her to bed with some butter on it and call it good says I. If she's dead by morning then she wasn't able to hang in the post apocalyptic world. Better find that out now than later when you life is on the line and you tell her to have your back in some scary situation and then she caves. Maybe Carl can give loan her his Man-Pants for a little bit until she gets the hang of it.
    So now Lori has helped the situation by crashing a car and probably ending up quite hurt. As if Rick doesn't already have enough to deal with today. Yikes. Speaking of Rick, did we talk about the fact that he shot those 2 guys? Not unprovoked mind you... the guy behind the bar was definitely goin' for his gun but still. What a reaction from Glen and Hershel. Those 2 didn't know what to think but Hershel's a total doofus if that whole experience didn't give him a good ol' dose of "Hmm maybe I want these guys on my side after all..." Here's hoping he turns over a new leaf and lets the gang stick around for a bit. I mean after all, Maggie's in Looooove.....

Walking Dead Mid-Season Finale: Pretty Much Dead Already

Jumpin' Jehosaphat! This episode left me and the Hubby crammed into one corner of the couch holding each other and hiding behind every couch cushion we could find. I kind of don't even want to do the re-cap and I'm left wondering if I may not be hard-core enough to watch this show. The episode was almost perfectly split down the middle: 22 minutes of 2 person discussions and 22 minutes of nail-biting action. Here goes:
      Everyone is happily sharing a meal when Glen breaks the news that there are walkers in the barn. Ruh-ro. Shane of course takes the news in his usual, easy-going style. They go down and investigate and sure enough, it's stank-city down there. About the barn: 2 episodes ago Daryl and Andrea saw a walker who had hung himself from a tree and other walkers had eaten it's legs. So we DO know that walkers will actually eat one another. We also knows that they go into feeding frenzies over food. So what keeps all the walkers in the barn from just turning and eating each other or the smallest one in the pack? Not sure.
      The group has a massive fight right in front of the barn, once again taunting volitile zombies with their nice, tasty selves. Will they ever learn? So of course the Zombies in the barn go nuts. Like you coudln't retreat onto the porch or take the debate down to the creek? Shane especially seems to get a lot of pleasure out of just riling them up. The biggest difference between Rick and Shane is that Shane wants to go into action mode over everything and Rick wants time to "handle" everything. Both approaches are going to get them into trouble in the future for different reasons. I think Rick tries to reason and play by the old rules a little too much but Shane makes everything worse with his trigger reactions.
      I'm not sure I like Maggie anymore. She's just too high maintenence and ornery. I guess being orbery can keep you alive though eh? She does however once again give Glen the opportunity for best line of the episode:
"Why would you waste an egg like that?"
     Daryl is still on a mission to find Sophia and shows that he is pretty closed off to affection from anyone when he gets in a fight with Carol. This kind of leads us into a bunch of little interactions. Dale and Andrea are still stuck, Hershel and Rick are still spinning the same debate (Rick still doesn't come up with getting his OWN farm). Rick tells Hershel about Lori. Then Maggie and Hershel get into it and it's nice to see someone FINALLY call Hershel out on his hypocrisy. Then it gets interesting. Shane and Rick have it out over Rick's need to negotiate everything. Shane has a point. No guns + walkers in the barn = unacceptable. That barn is not that sturdy and the last thing the group needs is another midnight ambush. Rick tells Shane about Lori and Shane immediately does the math and realizes that it might be his. That makes things more interesting.... and so much more unstable. And if we've learned anything this season it's that unstable Shane = must-see TV. Shane actually confronts Lori about the pregnancy and the fact that the baby might be his. I actually feel pretty bad for Lori about this. We all have that cringe-inducing relationship that we look back on and go "what was I thinking?" and as Shane gets crazier she's gotta be feeling worse about hooking up with him. Next Shane and Carl have it out and I'm thinking "Man, this episode is going to be nothing but conflict resolution. I thought we'd find Sophia in this episode, I thought the walkers would escape from the barn!"
       Here's where the action starts. Shane freaks out and goes to find Dale for some reason. Hershel grabs Rick and asks for help. Turns out that there are 2 walkers stuck in the mud and whenever this happens they grab them by the neck and stick them in the barn. Daryl and Carol have a moment by the pond and I'm SURE at this point that Daryl's resolve is going to be vindicated and Sophia will be found in this episode. Back by the mud-whole the Zombie capture isn't going so well. Geez man no wonder there are so many Zombies in the damn barn. Half of them must be farm hands that got bit trying to wrestle other Zombies INTO the barn. Glen and Maggie make up. I'm happy for Glen.
      At another part of the creek Dale is trying to hide all of their guns which makes NO SENSE AT ALL!!! And Dale is usually so reasonable! If anyone out there can think of a good reason to hide all of the guns when there are walkers in the barn you need to speak up. As if you'll have time to go fetch the guns if the Zombies break out.
     So they fight and Shane gets all the guns back.
     Then it all starts to hit the fan. Everyone convenes on the front lawn and that's when they see Rick helping Hershel wrangle Zombies across the field like he's his darn farm-hand. Shane completely loses it at this point. It's a classic case of Rick and Shane both doing what they do best and both being completely wrong. Shane's right, but he goes about it all wrong. Rick's wrong but he's wrong so diplomatically that you have to just feel for him. So Shane takes out the first walker right in front of the whole group and then busts open the barn. At this point everyone has to be all-in right? So they  line up and start taking out the walkers as they come out of the barn. These walkers are the friends and family of the people on the farm and it's so obviously the wrong way to go about it. But there's a massive slaughter and it's so horrible for the farm crew that it's painful. Hershel is so clearly destroyed and I feel so bad for him that I totally take back my Christmas Wish and feel horrible for ever wishing it in the first place. We can only begin to understand what they must feel seeing their Ex-loved ones taken out. Until Sophia steps out of the barn.
     Horror, despair, agony, helplessness. I was right there with them. In that moment it's like Shane and Rick have this role reversal. All the wind is out of Shane's sails and Rick is the one that has to be the man of action and step up to the plate. I have no idea what this means for both of them long term but it's clear that the moment is so totally pivotal that everyone is going to be changed. Carl has just seen the only other child he knows on Earth get shot in the head in Zombie form. Daryl's search for redemption by finding Sophia is destroyed. Carol. Lori has all the fuel she needs to imagine fresh horrors for her unborn child. Everything keeping them at the farm has been destroyed in one 5 minute sequence and it's mind-boggling. I can't even begin to imagine what's next and since it won't happen until February I won't even get to make any more Christmas wishes about it. Bah-Humbug!